CHOOSINGNEW Coaching & Support Groups
Porn. Betrayal. The stuff nobody says out loud.

You're not broken. You're carrying something you were never meant to carry alone.

I'm Austin. I spent 20 years hiding a porn addiction that blew up my marriage — and I've spent the years since helping men get free and helping the women they hurt heal. If you're here, something already told you it's time. Let's talk.

No gimmicks, no shame, no hiding the ball. This is what I do for a living, and I'll tell you exactly how it works and what it costs.

"Being part of this community has changed my life." — a group member

Start by naming it

Half the battle is having words for it.

What you're living isn't random, and it isn't proof that something's wrong with you. People who've spent careers studying this have language for it — and finding the right words is where the healing starts. See which one sounds like your life right now.

What's actually going on

Most people fight the symptom. The work that lasts goes deeper.

Whether it's a behavior you can't stop or a betrayal you can't unsee, what you're carrying has a name — and people who've spent their careers studying it have already mapped the way through. Here's the path, before we ever talk about a group.

For men

Unwanted sexual behavior

It feels like a willpower problem. It isn't. In years of research with thousands of people, Jay Stringer found that unwanted sexual behavior is rarely random — it's shaped by your story. The specific things you reach for are a map, pointing back to old wounds, the places you felt powerless, and the longings that never got met.

That's why white-knuckling fails and shame only feeds it. As counselor Adam Young puts it, the way through runs through your story, not around it. When you finally make sense of what happened to you — and what it set in motion — the behavior starts to lose its grip. Not overnight. But for real.

For women

Betrayal trauma

The obsessive checking. The not-sleeping. Replaying every memory, hunting for what you missed. You're not crazy and you're not insecure — you're living betrayal trauma, a real and documented response to being deceived by the person you trusted most.

Betrayal-trauma expert Michelle Mays calls the hardest part the "betrayal bind": the one person you'd normally run to for comfort is the very one who caused the wound. That's why it's so disorienting, and why you can't just "get over it" alone. But with the right understanding and the right people around you, you can heal — whether or not he ever changes.

How it works

Three steps. Not your whole life figured out.

1
Book a free Clarity Call
30 honest minutes, no pressure, no judgment — just a clear read on what's really going on.
2
Find your group
Men's or women's. You start together with the next monthly cohort, so the group bonds instead of revolving.
3
Stop fighting it alone
Weekly, honest, in community — until hiding isn't something you need anymore.
For men

The way out isn't more willpower. It's other men.

You don't need another streak to white-knuckle, or another reason to feel like a failure. You need honest men in your corner and someone who's walked this road — so the goal stops being "don't watch" and starts being the man who doesn't need to hide anymore. That's what this is.

Austin Hamilton
Meet Austin
Austin Hamilton

I'm a husband, dad of three, and a coach in Phoenix — and I do this work because I lived it. For 20 years I hid my porn use, and it escalated into an affair that nearly cost me my marriage. The decade since I confessed in 2017 has been a bittersweet journey — I plunged into the sorrow of my story, both for my own healing and for the restoration of our marriage. Honestly, only God could have done that.

That's where I found real redemption — where the very place of my deepest harm became the source of my healing and my calling. It's why I trained to do this for real: a certified coach with Level 1 and 2 Unwanted Guide training. What that means for you: no judgment, and no white-knuckling a streak. You'll be met where you are, helped to make sense of the story underneath the behavior, and walked toward the life you actually want — until hiding isn't something you need anymore. Shame dies the moment it's said out loud, and you don't have to say it alone.

The Men's Support Group

$199 / month

About what two therapy sessions cost — for a whole month of support.

A weekly group of men done doing this alone — honest, accountable, moving forward together.
Led by Austin · Weekly on Zoom · 75 min · Tuesdays 9:00pm ET & Wednesdays 3:00pm ET
New members start together the first week of each month — small, intentionally capped groups so everyone's actually known.

What you get
  • A trustworthy space to be seen in your struggle — without judgment or shame
  • Honest accountability with men who get it — you're not doing this alone
  • Help making sense of the story underneath the behavior, not just white-knuckling a streak
  • Room to explore the shame and the longing driving it, and bring it into the light
  • Practical steps toward the man — and the intimacy — you actually want

Cancel anytime — no awkward conversation. And if your first month isn't the right fit, just tell us and we'll refund it. Not sure yet? Start with a free Clarity Call.

In their own words

"I'm a member of Austin's group and I meet with him personally. Being part of this community has changed my life — it's not a porn-and-sex problem, it's a how-we-live-our-life problem. I strongly encourage anyone suffering to reach out."

— Group member · Men's Support Group

"Since starting the private group sessions, my relationship with my girlfriend improved — and so did the way I feel about myself. Knowing I wasn't alone, having others to relate to while kicking a porn addiction, helped a tremendous amount."

— Member · Men's Support Group

"I told Austin he saved my wife and I's relationship. The porn was tearing us apart piece by piece. Now I'm 23 with a kid on the way, feeling amazing."

— Veteran, 23 · Men's Support Group
For women

You don't have to hold this alone.

You didn't cause it, you can't control it, and you don't deserve it. What you need now is a place to be believed and women who actually get it — led by someone who's lived it. You can heal here, whether or not he ever changes.

Katelyn Swanson
Meet Katelyn
Katelyn Swanson

Katelyn co-leads the Women's Support Group alongside Austin — and she's here because she's lived it. When she discovered her husband's porn use, the betrayal devastated her. What changed everything wasn't a quick fix; it was finally finding language for what she was going through — betrayal trauma. Naming it let her stop feeling crazy, be truly seen, and begin to heal in community with women who understood. She's walked that road with others ever since, leading support groups where women aren't alone in it anymore.

That's what she creates for you. With Katelyn you'll be believed — never told you're insecure or "too much." You'll come to understand that what you're feeling is trauma, not a flaw in you; you'll get real ways to steady a body and mind that won't stop spinning; and you won't carry any of it by yourself. Her heart — and the heart of her platform, An Honest Love — is that you'd know what it actually feels like to be loved honestly.

The Women's Support Group

$199 / month

About what two therapy sessions cost — for a whole month of support.

A group for betrayed partners, co-led by Austin and Katelyn, walking this road together so you're not isolated in it.
Weekly on Zoom · 75 min · Tuesdays 7:30pm ET
New members start together the first week of each month — small, intentionally capped groups so everyone's actually known.

What you get
  • A trustworthy space to be seen in your pain — and finally believed
  • Language for what you're living: betrayal trauma, not insecurity or being "too much"
  • Tools to steady a spinning mind and a body that won't settle
  • Understanding of the "betrayal bind," so you stop feeling crazy for your reactions
  • Healing in community with women who get it — whether or not he changes

Cancel anytime — no awkward conversation. And if your first month isn't the right fit, just tell us and we'll refund it. Not sure yet? Start with a free Clarity Call.

In their own words

"Joining a group was community I didn't know I needed. Knowing I wasn't alone — that others were experiencing the same and willing to listen — gave me so much confidence going through this journey of betrayal trauma."

— On the betrayal-trauma journey · Women's Support Group

"You create a safe place for healing. I know most of my growth was because of the group — it helped me in so many ways."

— Member · Women's Support Group

"When I was going through it, I felt so isolated — like no other woman was experiencing the same betrayal I was. But we healed. We have two kids now, our marriage is thriving, and we've even been able to help other couples through it."

— Betrayed & healed · Women's Support Group
Not sure yet? Start here.

Start with a free Clarity Call.

Whether porn has had its grip on you, or his betrayal has knocked the ground out from under you, a free 30-minute call is a great place to start. You'll get honest clarity about what's really going on underneath — and a real picture of what healing and freedom could look like for you. No pressure, no judgment, no cost. Just a clear next step and a vision worth walking toward.

Straight answers

Questions people actually ask.

Is this therapy?

No. It's coaching and peer support — not clinical therapy. If what you need is a licensed therapist, I'll tell you that honestly.

Will the group judge me?

No. It's people in the exact same fight. Shame dies when it's finally said out loud to people who get it.

What if I've tried everything?

Most people here have. The work isn't white-knuckling a streak — it's becoming someone who doesn't need to hide. That's a fight you can actually win.

Do I have to be religious?

No. Everyone's welcome, wherever you are.

Is it confidential?

Yes. What's said in the group stays in the group — that's the first agreement everyone makes, and we hold every member to it. We don't share names or stories outside the room. The only thing we'd ever act on is someone being in real danger; short of that, your honesty is safe here.

One step. Not your whole life figured out.

Just a free Clarity Call, or a seat in a group where you're not alone.